Organizational culture shapes how relationships and performance are prioritized in the workplace. Some cultures lean toward being “nice,” fostering warmth and collaboration, but often at the expense of critical feedback and accountability. Others prioritize outcomes and results but can unintentionally erode trust and connection. Striking a balance between building relationships and managing workflow effectively is essential for managers — and it’s far from easy.
At the heart of great management is the ability to adapt to the needs of employees. As Radical Candor by Kim Scott highlights, successful managers care personally while challenging directly. This approach builds trust while driving results. At the same time, You’re Invited by Jon Levy offers valuable insights into how trust and respect are foundational for influencing and motivating others. By integrating these ideas with principles from Situational Leadership Theory, managers can better navigate the evolving needs of employees, ensuring both relationships and performance thrive.
Culture often determines how much weight is given to relationships versus performance. In organizations with "nice" cultures, managers may prioritize harmony, avoiding tough but necessary conversations. While this fosters psychological safety, it can lead to ambiguity around expectations and frustrations about underperformance. Conversely, organizations with a hard-driving culture may focus so much on results that they undermine trust, leaving employees disengaged and unsupported.
The truth is, neither extreme works. A manager's goal should be to balance relationships and accountability, fostering trust and clarity simultaneously. As Radical Candor explains, this means caring personally about employees while challenging them directly to meet and exceed expectations.
Great managers understand that employees require different levels of support depending on their competency and confidence in a given role or task. This is where Situational Leadership Theory can serve as a practical framework. Developed by Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard, the model outlines four stages — telling, selling, participating, and delegating — that help managers align their approach to an employee’s level of maturity and need:
It’s easy for managers to focus on the “squeaky wheel” — employees or projects that demand the most attention. High performers, especially those in the delegating stage, may not appear to need much support. However, neglecting these employees can lead to disengagement. Even the most capable team members want to feel recognized, valued, and integral to the organization’s success.
Here are some ways to ensure high-performing employees remain engaged:
On employee surveys, we often measure manager relationships (trust, respect, empathy) separately from performance management (setting expectations, delivering feedback). The results frequently reveal that organizations excel at one while struggling with the other. For instance:
Neither approach works in isolation. Managers must do both, but how they balance these priorities should depend on the maturity and needs of their employees.
In Radical Candor, Kim Scott emphasizes the importance of giving feedback that is both kind and clear. This means avoiding the pitfalls of ruinous empathy (being overly nice without addressing problems) and obnoxious aggression (delivering feedback without care). Instead, managers should:
Jon Levy’s You’re Invited complements this by exploring how trust and shared experiences build strong connections. Managers can apply these lessons by:
A customer once described their managers as “little league coaches” — focused more on keeping employees happy than on driving results. While support and encouragement are important, a manager’s primary role is to ensure that work is completed effectively and aligns with organizational goals. Being overly focused on relationships without addressing performance can erode accountability and lead to frustration among team members who value high standards.
Great managers don’t choose between relationships and performance — they integrate the two. By adapting their leadership style to match the maturity and needs of their employees, managers can build trust, provide clarity, and empower their teams to thrive. Whether they’re in the telling stage or the delegating stage, employees need to feel both supported and challenged.
However, the ability to balance relationships and performance doesn’t happen by chance — it requires data-driven insights and intentional action. This is where products like those offered by Perceptyx can make a transformative difference. With the launch of Activate, which incorporates the power of behavioral science-backed Intelligent Nudges, Perceptyx provides leaders with actionable recommendations to improve employee-manager relationships and overall performance management.
Through comprehensive employee listening and advanced analytics, Perceptyx helps organizations measure the quality of manager relationships and performance management side by side. Leaders can identify areas where they’re excelling and where gaps exist, and with the help of Intelligent Nudges, they can implement small, impactful changes in real-time. These targeted actions ensure managers have the support they need to foster both trust and accountability, enabling teams to reach their full potential.
If your organization is ready to strengthen manager relationships, improve performance management, and build a culture where employees feel both supported and empowered, it’s time to partner with Perceptyx. Schedule a demo and let us help you listen better, act smarter, and drive meaningful change.